Today, I received a smile from a sandwich shop counter girl who made me realize how incomplete physical attraction is without personality or depth of character. She gave me a smile that was so genuine and so sincere, I immediately saw her in a different light. Physically, she was larger than I usually like, but despite this, her wonderful smile warmed me up and I saw her as one of the most attractive women in the world. I couldn't stop looking at her face, not because she was pretty, but because I was perplexed at why her unpretentious smile had such an impact on me.
Admittedly, we men, so easily and quickly, lose our senses in the presence of a gorgeous woman. This is known among female circles as "thinking with the little head". On behalf of the male gender, I apologize to all women out there who fell victim to our knee-jerk reaction triggered by beautiful women - who happen to be typically much younger and more attractive than yourselves. ;-)
This girl's smile, however, didn't create a physiological response that is usually manifested with a male "standing ovation". Rather, the response went deeper and beyond the physical. She made me feel really nice at my core. I truly felt her smile. During service, and even after service when I was walking away, she was smiling at me with such pureness... almost like a child who just received a gift on his/her birthday. I walked away flustered. How can she look at a stranger with such sweetness? How can she smile like that as an adult? Doesn't she know life is hard? Doesn't she understand the world is cruel? Dramatic, I know. I have to be, otherwise, how else will you understand this smile - a smile of the heart?
I learned a lesson here. Often, as a man, I see beautiful women and feel such a surge of attraction its hard to think straight. The more attractive the woman, the more awry my highly sensitive nervous system becomes. Today, a woman of average beauty taught me that a girl who can smile a sincere, warm and unpretentious smile of the heart can touch a man to his very core - much deeper than any hot bikini body or model face.
Earlier, I pondered: Why was she smiling like that? How could she? The answer came to me just now. Yes, the world can be cruel and certainly, life can be harsh to anyone at any given time. Sadly, we have no control over this. We, however, can choose to give up and cry all day and night, or we can choose to take the hits and push forward. I feel I have been doing the latter. Proudly, without assistance, and at a position of disadvantage, I have come quite away by owning a home, paying off my car and managing to stay out of jail. :-) I have endured but it's hurt quite a lot and I've collected the scars to prove it. Often, I come home tired (mentally and physically) of people, work and life. I simply don't have the energy at times to smile, let alone laugh. Hey, doing everything on your own without any assistance is not easy.
Then here is this girl. Who knows what she's gone through, but I am sure she's had her battles and wars. Everyone has - that's life. And through it all, she is still able to stand with this amazing smile that not only offers me solace, but strength as well. I've never had a lovely set of legs; a killer arse; buxom breasts; or, a stunning face (often showing boredom b/c everyone else is ugly) offer me this type of comfort and encouragement. Here lies my answer. She effortlessly smiles a smile of the heart because she's learned there's strength in gentleness. This is simply her DO ("doh" = way). This is the reason why she moved me and why I probably found her instantly beautiful. I admired her strength to stay real. I respected her ability to offer something only a few can give. I appreciated her sharing her kindness and letting me feel her warmth.
It's funny how this girl will never know the impact she had on me. Still, I remain grateful.
Just had to write this one out. Oh boy, my friends are gonna razz me on this one... oh well, I had to stay honest with myself! :-)
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