A funny thing happened to me at the 1st Toronto Nuit Blanche...

It's here again:  Nuit Blanche - the Toronto chapter.  This time it's 2010.
When I participated in its first year at Toronto, an amusing thing happened to me.

I was looking for a specific Nuit Blanche site/event - on the map it clearly showed its location at Queen and McCaul.  I can't remember the assigned number for this site/event so let's just refer to it as exhibit A.  I walked up and down Queen as well as McCaul three times and each time I couldn't find anything that looked remotely like art.  I am not an art expert by any means, but I do know an art exhibit when I see one; and I tell you: there was nothing!

Finally, I noticed there was someone who looked like a volunteer for Nuit Blanche standing on the corner and I thought, "Wonderful! I can finally find this thing."  I waited for my turn to speak to her as there were two others already engaged in discussion with her.  I noticed, while waiting, that she was dressed very MEC (outdoorsy).  She was just over middle age and seemed pleasant.  The shell jacket she wore made me think she was going hiking in the woods, except she wore Birkenstock sandals (I believe)...these should have been a clear warning sign for what was to come, actually.

After the two people left, I approached her and asked:
"Excuse me, where is exhibit A?"
"I am exhibit A".
"...." (just stared at her for any hint that she was joking;  nothing, she was dead serious).
"Ok...so where is the art work?"
"Well, first I tell you a story..."
"Yes."
"Then, you tell me a story."
"Yes."
"And in this exchange, we share an experience.  This is art."
"..." (mind was racing on how I could get out of this one)

Thank goodness someone came and interrupted and I used my Ninja skills to disappear like lightening.
What a strange experience - she had me baffled for a bit, but perhaps there was something there...after all, this was a long time ago, but I still clearly remember it.

Just thought I'd share.

The Mainlander's cry for help - Does this make sense to you?

I often notice product branding from Asia;  not because it's amazing or anything like that.  I take notice because the English branding on items doesn''t make sense and this gives me a good chuckle.  Here in my office, my good friend, The Mainlander, put up a sign which communicates his intent, but something remains lost in translation.

Look for yourself.:

If you find the following funny, we'll get along

Dialogue 1
Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Elaine Dickinson: Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.
Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna. 


Dialogue 2
Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

Dialogue 3
Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Surging Rage

Beginning to really dislike:
1) Pretty young women
2) Youngest siblings

These two groups of people are starting to get on my nerves like no tomorrow.
Perhaps I'll elaborate on why another time because if I start writing now, I'm gonna write something mean and nasty.

Feel like crap today

Came back from camp this weekend and fell sick immediately.
Feels like I have a flu or something...can't get enough sleep, body feels lethargic, throat is dry, and I'm very cold.
No updates until I feel better.

Tough Love from the Mainlander

This is a record of a chat that took place between the Mainlander and me.  It was in reference to a hot woman who he wanted me to "get".  This is his way of encouraging me and kicking my ass into gear, as a friend.  Truthfully, there's more to this than how it comes across but I had to edit this chat record to protect identities.

Note:  Both of us are joshing with each other here so please don't take it too seriously.

For your enjoyment...


 ** Tue 14:57 **
 The Mainlander:    I told you to act up but you didn't.

 ** Tue 14:57 **
 The Mainlander:    If I were you I will do it on 2nd day.

 ** Tue 14:57 **
 The Mainlander:    What a **** you are !

 ** Tue 14:58 **
Me:   Mr. Mainlander, u r awesome - I am too scared.

 ** Tue 14:58 **
Me:   But I will do it.

 ** Tue 14:58 **
Me:   I don't care.

 ** Tue 14:58 **
Me:   U r right.

 ** Tue 14:58 **
 The Mainlander:    She is only a girl what you are afraid of?

 ** Tue 14:58 **
Me:   Hit me.

 ** Tue 14:58 **
Me:   I deserve it.

 ** Tue 14:58 **
The Mainlander:    You don't deserve my hit

 ** Tue 14:58 **
Me:   : (

 ** Tue 15:05 **
 The Mainlander:    You deserve jerking off every night

 ** Tue 15:05 **
Me:   Oh my god

 ** Tue 15:08 **
Me:   I am going to kill myself

 ** Tue 15:08 **
 The Mainlander:    No cry. Cry changes nothing. Just do it.

 ** Tue 15:15 **
 The Mainlander:    I hope you have her email or phone

 ** Tue 15:15 **
 The Mainlander:    If not, look her up on fackbook, Myplace etc

 ** Tue 15:15 **
Me:   I have her email.

 ** Tue 15:15 **
 The Mainlander:    Contact her!!

 ** Tue 15:15 **
Me:   I am in touch with her via bbm too

 ** Tue 15:16 **
 The Mainlander:    You don't want me to tell you how to do!!!

 ** Tue 15:16 **
Me:   Lol

 ** Tue 15:16 **
Me:   I am many yrs older than her

 ** Tue 15:17 **
 The Mainlander:    Nothing you. Can loose, man!!

 ** Tue 15:17 **
Me:   This should be EASY!!!

 ** Tue 15:17 **
Me:   Fuk this!

 ** Tue 15:17 **
Me:   I am gonna go get her!!!

 ** Tue 15:17 **
 The Mainlander:    If you don't act up I'm gonna treat you differently

 ** Tue 15:17 **
 The Mainlander:    As you are not qualified to be my Korean brother

 ** Tue 15:18 **
 The Mainlander:    You are losing faces to all Koreans!

 ** Tue 15:18 **
Me:   But in an uncertain way...

 ** Tue 15:18 **
 The Mainlander:    Don't think that much. Just go!

 ** Tue 15:18 **
Me:   Ok.

 ** Tue 15:18 **
 The Mainlander:    Bring her back to us after 2 weeks.

 ** Tue 15:18 **
Me:   I'll ask her out for next weekend.

 ** Tue 15:18 **
 The Mainlander:    If you failed to do so I am gonna kick your dick off as you don't deserve it!

 ** Tue 15:18 **
 The Mainlander:    Good. You will make it!

 ** Tue 15:18 **
 The Mainlander:    You need me behind you and I will!

 ** Tue 15:18 **
 The Mainlander:    BE A MAN.

 ** Tue 15:18 **
 The Mainlander:    Bye

 ** Tue 15:18 **
Me:   Mr. Mainlander.  Thanks, I appreciate your support. I am ready for battle.

The Mainlander Says...

"The Japanese are Chinese people who wouldn't listen to us [Chinese] and escaped to an island."